butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How's work?
Spinning.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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