I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
