Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You work out of a Hotel?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
