I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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