it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
