i can't believe i had my finger in that
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
