Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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