I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
