o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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