also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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