is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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