Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
