My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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