my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize