my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
