i think i have two assholes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize