We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
