Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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