have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
