Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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