I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize