I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
