They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
