He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
