I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
