why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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