Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
