You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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