Hey man sorry I got all grabby
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
