ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
