in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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