adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You dont lie about slip and slides
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
