just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
