How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
