even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
