Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
