If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
