school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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