I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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