He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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