Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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