she was so not down for the gang bang
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
