no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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