i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
