Apparently you make a good broom.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
