dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
