genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
