This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
