If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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