I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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