and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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