Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize