so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
