Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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