You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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