That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
