i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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