Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
