I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
