idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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