he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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