we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
