id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
