Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
