i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize