dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
